Time to Hibernate

I’ve always had this vision in my mind of mums getting up at the crack of dawn and starting their day with a nice relaxing coffee before the kids get up. Their only opportunity to sit and focus on the day ahead before tornado child rouses. I thought this would be a natural progression and my body clock would change itself. Turns out I need to reset my body clock but I can’t find the bloody manual.

I am a lazy cow in the mornings; my alarm goes off at least three times before I give in and crawl out of my bed. Why am I not naturally waking up at 6am, refreshed from an undisturbed slumber and feeling ready to tackle the day ahead? Why do I constantly feel hung over every morning (hypothetical, I can’t afford weeknight alcohol) and groan at the thought of doing anything that involves anyone other than Ducky my bedtime pal?

When you become a parent, sleep goes out of the window. I’m not talking about disturbed sleep or midnight feeds. I’m talking about sheer tiredness from having a small person living under your roof. I don’t have the ability to shut my brain off at night. My head, once upon a time used to be filled with thoughts of what I should wear that weekend, where we should eat out and what time (at the very latest) should I attempt to get up on Sunday afternoon. Now my thought process at bedtime normally involves a quick prayer to Dexter’s semi-conscious telling him that he can get through the night without wanting to say hello to his mummy and daddy, a contingency plan of action for the morning because the chances are I would’ve overslept and we’ll all be running 30 minutes late and of course promising to myself that I WILL NOT shout at the OH because I didn’t listen to the first three alarms and it is not his fault that I’m hot and flustered and already mega late.

Everything that comes with having a child is knackering; even our once relaxing weekends are now more exhausting than our full work of week. I have Fridays off with Dex, and come 6pm I have even lost the ability to communicate. Last week I had to sit in a dark room post D’s bedtime to catch up on text messages and phone calls I’d received that day. Every time Dex learns a new skill I seem to regress more. Is it like a cocoon moment and he’s actually sucking my abilities from me? Is it not enough that he’s already stolen my once perky bosom and replaced it with 2 snooker balls and a pair of socks?

So, I have a proposal. In return for one month of hibernation, you can obtain possession of a 3ft high nutter. Nope, scrap that, I’d miss him after an hour. Ok maybe a few hours, after a really long nap…….mmmmmmm……nap………

Thanks for reading

Mummy over and out



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