The very lovely Urban Boheme shared an extract from Dr. Sears on her FB yesterday that really got me thinking.
There is no need to say apologetically “he’s shy”, especially in front of your child. There is nothing wrong, and a lot right, with being shy. Many people don’t understand shyness and equate being shy with having a problem. They believe a shy child must suffer from poor self-image. Most of the time this label couldn’t be more unfair. Many shy children have a solid self-concept. They have an inner peace that shines; if the extroverts would be quiet long enough they would notice its glow.
It’s not so much the shyness that struck a chord with me, but the part about apologising on behalf of your child.
I’m a mother to a toddler. He’s my only child so this means I am still learning, always learning. I don’t know what is normal and what is right as I have nothing to compare against, but I know I will always strive to keep Dexter happy. I know that Dex is a chatterbox, he loves cuddling and he likes to act like a monkey. He’s not boisterous and he doesn’t misbehave, yet I have often found myself apologising in front of him for the noise/mess/chaos he has made.
Each and every time I have found myself doing this I am wracked with guilt. I need to be more relaxed, I need to not give a shit if Dex is being a child….because he is a child.
We do have a level of discipline in our house, but only very slight. The naughty step has been used a grand total of 3 times, and the kid just sits there kicking his legs around whilst singing to himself. On each occasion he’s apologised to me (without prompt) and hugged and kissed me until he’s suitably convinced that he’s in the clear.
I think the worst thing is that I find myself apologising around the people who shouldn’t matter, the people who don’t even play a big part in D’s life.
Jeez Lindsey just let him be himself, but obviously within reason. I mean the extraction of any bodily fluid on purpose is just bad manners (one of the naughty step moments) and he’s not being naughty, he’s just learning.
Thanks for reading
Mummy over and out