Today I had the pleasure of listening to a talk from Denise Welch as part of a Wellness Week initiative my office is running.
Today’s focus is being kind to your mind and Denise spoke about her struggles with depression and addictions. I’ve always been aware of Denise’s career from the Byker Grove days to the Loose Women era, but I never fully understood how much of a long battle she has had with mental health.
I found today’s talk quite hard to listen to and digest. Denise focused on how her depression began, with PND being the main trigger. PND has and always will be a concern of mine as there is a family history of depression and I sometimes feel my emotions are a little beyond my control. During my current pregnancy I have struggled to keep on top of the tears. Small things will set me off more than they ever have before. Small things like a little misunderstanding with the OH, Dexter being 3 and pushing my buttons a bit too much or pressure from work. And sadly there has been more weeks involving unmanageable pressure from work, than not. And as everyone knows you tend to bring these pressures home with you and it infects your personal life like a virus. I’m not sure if I am worrying unnecessarily or not about what “could” happen. I know I have a fabulous support network around me, I know my OH is supportive beyond belief and I know my parents always have my best interests at heart but I am anxious about how I will manage things. If things do get too much will I manage to stop and ask for help? Will I be able to admit that I’m not coping? I’m nervous about having 2 tiny people totally dependent on me because they can be quite cunning beneath the cute exterior. And once the OH is at work, I’m outnumbered.
Am I also due a nightmare baby? Dex was a breeze. I coped really well, apart from the occasionally confidence wobble. Am I due one that won’t sleep/eat/settle? When I had Dexter I experienced a dark period when he was 6 months old. I lost 2 very important people to me in a short amount of time. Something as devastating and life changing as that can affect the most emotionally strong people, let alone a post natal first time mother. I didn’t ask for help as soon as I should have but when I did it was a relief.
I guess this post is a waffle post. Hearing Denise’s battle today and looking around the room at other women; other mums, that were nodding in agreement and sympathising with Denise made me realise that PND can affect anyone, regardless of their position, statue or salary. And if it does happen then at least I know there will be help there for me.
Thanks for reading
Mummy over and out