My Shadow

Despite being a mother already, I’d never really experienced having someone solely dependent on me before having Blake.

Even though Dexter was EBF, he took a bottle straight away and I expressed and had freedom since a few weeks after he was born, this also gave the other important people in his life the chance to feed him. The start of Blake’s life was a bit chaotic (chicken pox, Christmas, etc) so sterilising, pumping etc became a task I kept putting off. And pretty soon I missed that precious window.

Sadly my daughter will now not take a bottle. She’s a stubborn little minx and would rather go without any milk at all than suck on a teat. We’ve tried all sorts of teats and bottles and she just point blank refuses. Rat bag. It’s been a bit of a slap in the face for me as she’s just the complete polar opposite to how Dexter was, it’s not completely irrational for me to expect my kids to be alike in personality as well as looks is it? We’ve tried me being there, me not there. Warmed,  defrosted milk, or freshly pumped milk. Big bottles, small bottles, training bottles, baby bottles. Lots. She’s stubborn, I’ll give her that!!

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What I’m finding difficult to shake off is my loss of independence. Ok she won’t starve if I’m not there but it doesn’t stop me from worrying that she actually IS starving when I’m not there. She’s a total mummy’s girl too. Not exactly calm and content when the boobs aren’t there, and almost always happy near me or being held by me. So FYI if Blake looses her shit when you hold her and I whip her away, I’m not being over protective, I’m just saving your eardrums from what’s coming. Oh I didn’t mention she’s a screamer did I? It’s a real blood curdling one too, sometimes the pitch gets so high that my eardrums ring like they used to after clubbing all night. She’s got vocal skills.

So whilst Blake is a bit more highly strung than Dexter ever was, he’s most definitely her calming nature. Luckily for me, she’s obsessed with him and quite happy to watch him, wherever he is and whatever he’s doing, much to his delight! There is a special bond between them both that is pretty awesome to witness, in fact maybe he should give her a bloody bottle! 

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Thanks for reading

Mummy over and out

Lx

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