So the prospect of returning to work has reared its ugly head and I’ve been forced to start thinking about my next steps as a frazzled mother of two.
In all honesty I didn’t enjoy my maternity leave much with Dexter. It was fun and spending time with him was a joy but I found it tough being ‘er indoors. I didn’t go much in for the dinner-on-the-table-pinny-on-type approach, it was more a shit-its-hummus-and-crisps-for-dinner-again role that I naturally took on. I was also desperate to reclaim my independence (hahahaha what the FUCK is that?) and to earn some money again. Dex thrived in nursery and got so much from spending time with his grandparents and Daddy, so it was a total win/win situation. Maternity leave round 2 has been different. I now have two of the little ruffians to keep me entertained, yes one of them is at school now so it is a HELL of a lot easier, and Miss Blake on her own is the perfect companion that keeps me just the right amount of busy. Now we are starting to see the back of her eczema *FINGERS CROSSED*, she’s become such a character and fun to be with. Whilst I feel like we’ve been robbed of our time together because of that pesky, shitty skin condition, I’m trying to do as much as possible with her now she’s into stuff and can play and learn and also have my full attention between the hours of 9am and 3pm.
So the thought of work taking up my time rather than my babies makes me feel sad. I think (the OH hopes) Blake will be our last baby, so this precious time (catching up on Netflix between her naps) will never happen again. And then there’s the utter fear of how am I going to manage being a working mum? The thought of getting 3 of us out of the door each morning, on time and all fed and watered, keeps bringing me out in a rash. The OH leaves before dawn, the lucky sod. The school run is a challenge already seeing as Dexter is such a sulky tween in the mornings. Add into the mix an extra drop off for Blake and me arriving at work looking presentable(ish) and on time just sounds like the biggest challenge ever. I pick my battles with the 4-year-old and anything before 8am and a vat of coffee is a fight easily lost by Mummy. Plus it’s all the other shit too. The cooking, cleaning, food shopping and basic hygiene of everyone living in our house, including the cat. So could I do that 5 days a week? Mmmm. How do real people do it? Do they cook at home? Are they still washing their underwear at midnight? Are we going to live on sausage casseroles from the slow cooker? EVERY DAY OF THE FUCKING WEEK? HEEEELLLLPPPPPPP.
I need a nanny and one for the kids.
All I know is the past 9 months have gone too quickly, so could the next 3 just slow the hell down.
Thanks for reading
Mummy over and out