11 month itch

Last week marked my darling Blake turning 11 months old, which in turn marks a month until I have to return to work.

I’m so very sad about having to return to work and leaving her. I was hammering down the office door at around 10 months with Dex, safely returning back on payroll by the time he was 11 months old. I got a bit of cabin fever with him, whereas Blake doesn’t give me a chance to feel bored and she can be a bit clingy so I happily carry her around like a little koala bear. She’s not a mummy’s girl, she’s a K-D’s girl. She loves her brother and her parents, and she’s at her happiest playing at home with us all.

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The past year has very much been our most difficult, yet the most fulfilling one to date. Going from 1 to 2 kids turned our world upside down, and for good measure continued shaking it for another 7 odd months. Blake has totally completed us but not without stresses and strain. The support I’ve had has dwindled from the first time around, people are busy with their own lives, but whilst I’ve lost some friends along the way, I’ve gained amazing new ones in other ways. And those that have stuck around are the ones that Blake cuddles, leans out for and recognises. They are the ones that understood how shitty it can get, the ones that offered an ear, their shoulder and often wine. Those are the friends that I’m not sure I could’ve carried on without.

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But back to Blake. She’s amazing. Honestly, she’s a little fire cracker. She laughs loud, sings, terrorises Dexter, dances, gets into EVERYTHING she shouldn’t, has special smiles for the school mums and dads, winds me up, gives Daddy big cuddles, acts like a crack addict at dinner time and makes me smile every single day. Yes she’s a massive pain in the arse but she’s so entertaining with it.

Is it selfish of me to not want to share her with anyone else? I want to keep her as a baby. I want keep her in baby grows, knock her over when she tries to walk and keep giving her puree. No. Mustn’t.

It’s amazing how alike and then totally different 2 siblings can be too. Dex is torn on a daily basis over putting her in the bin or sharing his room with her forever (depending on whether she’s touched any of his toys.) And he only has to walk into a room and she cracks up laughing. Sibling love growing and developing is really special to witness.

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Having Blake when we did gave me a chance to be at home with Dexter over the school holidays (looooooong) and to also be there helping him transist into school (easy peasy). Blake has come along for the ride and is V confident around a bunch of new faces and kiddies. I’m so sad to be missing out on the school drop off and pick up. I’m so sad to not be there to pick up Dexter and for him to excitedly tell Blake and I about his day. I’m so sad that me returning to work also means Dexter and Blake spending less time together.

Blake Kauder-Day is a very beautiful product of our loins and my heart swells when I hear her gentle “mama”. Her strong will and determination already shines through and she will trample over anything to get to the rich tea biscuits, including her brother.

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Stay small Blakey, stay as my baby forever.

Thanks for reading

Mummy over and out

Lx

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