After the hardest few years of my life, I want to start putting pen to paper, well fingers to keyboard, and to start blogging again.
I used to think I was a little bit humorous, sometimes even modestly tittering at my own musings, but I’m struggling to find that spark again.
Life is crazy. Kids, work, life admin, study, squeezing in social stuff, it’s often got me pushed to the limit, but the biggest challenge has been losing my dear mum.
Mum passed away 6 months ago on the 15th December. She battled so fucking hard, and then we could all see she’d given up the battle, and who would blame her? She had us all to live for but what she was enduring was too hard to continue.
My mum took no prisoners. She was small and unassuming, but fuck me, if you got the stare then you knew you were in trouble. Something I’ve definitely inherited.
A huge amount of the hurt I’ve felt since losing my mum is seeing the pain my dad is in. He’s lost his best friend, partner, the love of his life. He went from working full time, to caring for mum full time, so now he has a lot of time on his hands.
I feel like I’ve been wading through life for the past year, just getting by, often feeling like I’m in a bit of a bubble. I had a bit of a meltdown last week as I couldn’t recall a conversation I’d had with a friend in December, not something I normally struggle with, but then put it down to elegantly losing my marbles during a time of grieving. Friends have come and gone, but that’s fine, I’m stronger now than I’ve ever been and I’m not letting the small and petty shit get to me like it used to. Life is far too short.
Life is for living, trying new things, trying not to be afraid, taking the kids on adventures, trying not to lose my shit too much with them (3 day streak is my PB), focusing on what is important, like FINALLY finishing my degree and *fingers crossed* graduating in 2019. Something that I’m gutted my mum will never get to see.
I want to refresh and revisit this blog and share our life with you all.
And hopefully find my funny again.
Thanks for reading,